I AM THE WORD p. 52-54

We are extending our lesson on releasing/changing/transforming old patterns of behavior, thought and belief that no longer serve us.

Please be aware of the subtle and sometimes not so subtle judgmental voice of the ego that can creep in here. This is not about judgment so much as it is about awareness. 

Please remember also, I don’t know this stuff any better than you. I am simply “teaching what I want to learn.”

(Some of this might be repetitious, but I hope in a meaningful way).

Patterns are created to make life easier; to make responses to certain life situations automatic, so the tasks are quick, painless and don’t need to involve much thought. Again, this is something we do naturally. We streamline ordinary or predictable areas in our lives so that they seem to take up less time and effort.

I make the bed as soon as I get up; I do the dishes right after the meal. I exercise after I meditate in the morning; I walk the dog right after my first cup of coffee. 

It is natural for us to create a scheme or a predictable pattern this way.

We also create patterns of thought/belief/behavior for more meaningful reasons. Most often these patterns are created to help us fit in, to feel more secure, to offer a sense of belonging, and most of all to keep us safe. (You can explore this one more deeply if you like—it is only the ego that needs to feel safe—I’m not going to get into that one today—it’s bigger than this lesson).

I want to delineate pattens into a few different categories:

1. Those we have consciously created, and which we are aware of the root, the incident or circumstance that triggered the necessity of this protective pattern. (Paul’s example of the bicycle fits here, and I am sure we can all come up with some of our own. An important piece in the text here is that the guides help Paul to be aware that he not only created a pattern of protection, but also connected to that protection  a convoluted sense of nurturing and attention he could get if he was made fun of. (See, the ego just loves to make things sticky.
2. Then there are patterns that are more general in nature; one’s that we consciously create, but are not based around a particular event. Suppose I say to myself, “Every time I bring to focus my accomplishments, I am accused of bragging and being puffed up.”  Well, that doesn’t feel very good. So I create a pattern of behavior that anytime I do something that I feel is an accomplishment, I find some subtle way of drawing people’s attention to it, but I also “put down” any praise. “Aw, shucks, it was nothing; anyone could have done that.” I’ve set things up where I get something—not much, not what I really want or need, but at least something.
3. Then  there are patterns that we created unconsciously, most likely when we were preverbal; ways of getting attention, getting praise, nurturing, etc.

And because we live in such an imperfect world, most of these patterns turn out to be what I call settling for “second best.” We don’t get what we really want or need, but we get something. (AND this whole piece creates a HUGE underlying pattern of thought, “I don’t really deserve the best.” Take a look at how that one plays a role in life!)

The prayers and affirmations in the first part of this section of Chapter One deal mostly with patterns of thought/behavior/belief that we are conscious of (#1), and with which we can pin down a root cause.

Here we can definitely use:

“I am Word through this memory, and I am Word through any manifestations and any belief systems that were created through this memory that are no longer in alignment with my highest good. I am now choosing to release any patterns of failure or ridicule or belief in comfort to be attained through ridicule or failure that may have been created through this situation and through this time. I am Word through this memory and all that it has begotten me. Word I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

AND

“I am now making the choice to have this cleared once and for all and I intend now to release any unconscious behavior that would have me reclaim this pattern that I have stated I am now free of. Word I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

With these conscious patterns(#1) and those that are more general in nature(#2) we can add:

“I am now in dominion over my thinking. I am now realizing myself fully as the one in control of my thinking. I am now choosing to think only those thoughts that will bring me benefit and anchor in this new way of thinking fully into my consciousness. I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

AND

“I am now choosing to think only those thoughts which will bring me peace and will align me to a higher consciousness. I am doing this easily and through my own intention to know myself as Word. Word I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

I do not think the book addressed #3 as much as I would have liked so I have prayerfully taken the liberty to create another prayer/affirmation for those patterns that we might have created even before we had the cognitive awareness of what we were doing or what we were doing it for. (Those attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that might have sprung from our deep need for survival.)

“Word I am Word in knowing that what I am doing, how I am thinking, how I am speaking to myself, is an old pattern that no longer serves me. I am willing to release this fear/worry/doubt, this semblance of security that no longer works for me.

I open myself up to the power, the Grace, the presence of the Divine within me to release, heal and transform this pattern that I might be free of the restraints of the past and be open to the freedom of the present moment.

Word, I am Word through this intention.”

You are always free to create your own prayers and affirmations in any part of this work. 

A Course in Miracles reminds us that “If you bring the past into the present, you create a future just like your past.”

As we grow in awareness and self-honesty we begin to realize that old stuff just no longer fits. It might have been good for awhile. It might have protected and nurtured me in certain ways, and I can be grateful for that, but as the song says, “What Used to Work Ain’t Workin'.”

I’m thinking that perhaps the idea of a pattern  “Not fitting” could also produce some judgment, so how about—“It’s just not my style anymore. It might be fine of someone else, it’s just not ‘me’ anymore.”

As I mentioned Sunday, when I read: “Now Paul asks, “Is this done quickly? Does this happen overnight? What is the process of this?” It happens in stages.”

I was immediately reminded of that wonderful passage in the Velveteen Rabbit: 

“The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it. 

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?" 

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real." 

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. 

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." 

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" 

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand." 

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled. 

"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always.” 

― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

There is more to explore here, so I will be back later today(Wed.) or tomorrow to finish up this week's lesson.

Peace, Blessings, Gratitude