Tuesday, December 30, 2014


As I reviewed our gathering of Dec. 21st I found myself at a loss for words. 
The beauty and the power of those two affirmations/prayers p. 101-103 are so simply overwhelming in their scope that it is presumptuous to think there is anything else to add. 
            (but, then again, it's difficult to shut me up)

I would encourage us all to continue praying/saying those  prayers on a daily basis. I would also encourage us to say them out loud, even if it is just a whisper. Saying them outwardly instead of just in our mind offers us the ability to connect with the prayer on a deeper sensory level, and also helps keep us centered in the prayer itself.
Even when I am reading something as majestic as this, I can  notice my mind wandering off. I might still be “reading” the prayer, but my head is a million miles away.

Through these affirmations, we are not only committing to Transformation, we are literally being transformed.

Please do not become attached to what all this is supposed to feel like. All we need to do is to keep focus with our willingness and intention and to be aware of the “part” of us that KNOWS transformation is taking place. We do not need to measure, compare, or look for any other proof than that.

“When you state, “I am Word through this intention (whatever that might be),” you deliver energy to what was intended. You are setting the intention that the Divine Self that you are sends the energy of the Christ to inform the healing (and/or transforming) of that which is needed. ” p. 104

The declaration, “I am Word (followed by) “through my health”, “through my body”, “through my vibration”, “through all I see before me”, “through this pain in my hand….”*
etc. is the invocation of Divine Law. It is probably one of the most powerful things we can state because its power comes from the Divine Creativity that we are a part of.

*when we “Word” something that appears to be negative, such as pain or resistance, we are NOT increasing the negativity, we are raising the sensation or perception to a higher frequency. In the case of pain, for instance, by “wording” it we are no longer holding onto the pain and through our release we are allowing healing to happen. 
Another way of viewing this whole book is that it is a teaching and an energy which is allowing us to become more and more comfortable with this Truth (that I AM WORD).

“Now we do not tell you that you change who you thought you were. We tell you this: you become who you truly are.” p. 105

I know I have jokingly, but also seriously said that “The Good News (the Gospel) is that you are not who you think you are.” 

Are we being asked to give up our personalities? Well, let’s take a look at what the personality is. (By the way, I’m just making all this up. I’m asking for guidance that I don’t say anything misleading, and I am sharing what I think is true, but I don’t know anymore than anybody else.)

What we call the personality is a construct. It is a construct of what we have been told, what we have learned, what we think we are supposed to be like, what we have rebelled against, what we like, what we don’t like, why we think we like and don’t like stuff, our prejudices, our moral code, and on and on.

I’ve all spent many years refining and defining this thing called Gerry Boylan. Now we come to a very interesting thing about this personality gig—your perception of Gerry Boylan might be very different from my own. In other words my perception personality is limited to me!  See, I’ve created this whole thing to be secure in myself(who I think I am)—and that part works, but I’ve also put this whole thing together so you could know who I am—and that doesn’t work—because you see everything, including my personality, through your own lens.

It’s as if I were to weave a “coat of many colors” and I really liked it. I thought it fit wonderfully, looked good, etc. But now, what about you? You might think it was too garish or “show-offy” You might not like the colors (you don’t think they go well with my eyes, etc. 

I think you get the idea.

Back to the original question: “Are we being asked to give up our personalities?”

I think we are being asked to let go of our attachment to and our identification with that construct we call our personality.

I still have a personality— a unique way of expressing myself, but instead of thinking that is who I am, I recognize my personality construct as being the unique and wonderful way God’s love can be expressed through me.

This release, letting go of my attachment to my personality now takes me into the realm of Transformation or Recognition. (remember:“Now we do not tell you that you change who you thought you were. We tell you this: you become who you truly are.” p. 105)?

As we Transform, recognize who/what we truly are, we also begin to consciously release stuff that is no longer useful, that no longer serves us. (also some stuff drops off and we might not even miss it until much later).

We might find that certain activities are no longer fun; we might find ourselves drawn to different kinds of reading and shows we watch, etc.

This is not about judgment—stuff that no longer serves us is just that( like an item of clothing that just doesn’t suit us anymore, like a Nehru jacket from the Sixties—Now for somebody else, it might be perfect; those thoughts, ideas, activities might serve someone else just fine. 

So again, this is a call to awareness, becoming aware of those thoughts, feelings, behaviors, attitudes, patterns that might be our automatic responses to life situations, and to take a look at whether or not they still fit. Are they truly a reflection of who you are or who you desire to be?

Now you can’t just push something way because you think you are not supposed to have it. That’s the old “I shouldn’t feel that way” in disguise.

When I discover a thought pattern or behavior that no longer serves me, and I am having difficult time letting it go—or having it let go of me—I might need to:
thank it for serving me for so long
grieve its loss
feel the feelings that go with it
prayerfully reinforce my willingness and intention.

I can argue with a three year old (my ego) forever and as long as I am arguing, the ego is winning, but if I just gently let it be, stop resisting the resistance, it will gradually loosen its grip.

We ended Sunday with another powerful declaration and prayer on p. 107, releasing emotional patterns that which no longer serve me and opening myself up to the process of Transformation. 
I do not recall the book using the word “grace” very often, but I believe this is what is happening here. Grace is active in at least two ways: 1) it is the movement of God and God's Love within us; and 2) it is our openness to that movement of God.

There is an awesome responsibility that comes from this section on Recognition, namely, 
“It is time for you to understand that your feelings are an aspect of the self that you actually can control. ”  p. 107

(this blog includes material from the last two Sundays 12/21-28)

Wednesday, December 17, 2014


A strange and wonderful thing happens at the beginning of this chapter—Recognition.

Up until this point my intellect, my thinking/ego-based mind has been digesting this material, attempting to figure things out, “get a handle” on what is being said, and trying to compartmentalize the information and teachings into some bite-sized, understandable pieces that bear some resemblance to aspects of spirituality it is already familiar with.

My mind has been sailing along singing, “HIDEHO, here I go…” (you might be reminded of Shel Siverstein’s The Missing Piece), and saying to itself, “Here I go on another quest, another journey; it will probably be exciting and interesting for a while, then it will probably crash and burn or just fade way like so many other spiritual projects I’ve taken on. Besides, it’s going to take me God knows how many lifetimes to get to where I need to go.”

But wait; take a look at this:
“So we say to you now, you are in a growth process, and we are deciding now to bypass a program that was set in place by you, by all of you, that this kind of growth towards spiritualization, towards understanding yourself as spirit, would take many lifetimes.”

What? You mean I can “get it” now/soon??????

“You are reading this book, you are hearing this voice, and you are already comprehending that you must be on a path because you are intrigued and you are excited and you are believing the possibility that you can incarnate as yourself at a higher frequency while existing in this life you are living in now. That is the radical message of this teaching, and it is happening today.”

Sure, I’m intrigued; I’m excited, but do I really, really believe in this possibility????

And here we need to pause for a moment and become aware of that part of ourselves that sits in doubt. We are not judging this piece, we are simply examining. And if you look closely you will see that part of the self that rests in doubt is also afraid—afraid it might be duped, set up for disappointment. So it uses fear as a form of protection. 
“Don’t believe this because you might be disappointed, devastated even. It is better to be wary than to be hurt.”

We need to move through this one, and there are at least two ways of doing that.
One is to remember that marvelous statement from a father asking Jesus to heal his son. “Lord, I believe, help me overcome my disbelief.” Hey, that’s me. 
Don't make it a struggle. Just know that if a spark of belief is there—and it has to be if you are reading this, then that spark is enough to grow with. Remember belief is not a feeling.
And that leads me to the second “method” one which we have mentioned quite often, and that is WILLINGNESS AND INTENTION. Please notice these are not feelings either, they are acts of the will, choices we make, a focus we choose. How do I know my intention and willingness are true/are real? 
If you are reading this then they are. We are not here out of idle curiosity. Sure there is part of me in doubt, but there is also part of me that is in hope and excitement and, above all, OPENNESS. Trust that.

“When we say we are bypassing a programming, we are actually intending to bring forth a resolve in your energy system to take the brakes off the car and to speed up a process because this is the time when this can be achieved. Because the energies on the planet lack the density that they did in the past and the requirement of consciousness to change is imperative. This is happening now, this is happening now, this is happening now.”

“When we bypass the programming that has been in place that’s stated a soul can only go so far in one lifetime, we are being economical, we are doing this in a succinct way to bring about the intended passage in your consciousness that will bring this shift into fruition.”

“You have each decided already prior to incarnation that this would be the lifetime that you would manifest yourself fully in consciousnesses. And while this has retained its memory in your being in a subtle way, many of you only now are waking up to this possibility through the actions of this text and the circumstances that led you to read it. This chain of events has been in place for many years, and this is the time that the chain is opened and inclusive and everyone is coming to it.”

“This was not about anything other than the requirement of consciousness to become one with the Christ manifestation on this plane that has been intended for two thousand years. This is a time of recognition of who you are.”

What is required of me now? Two things:

  1. stay on the bus!!!!
  2. continue to be aware of that aspect of self that believes he/she is worthy of this journey:                                                                                                  “that small piece of the self that smiles in recognition to this work, and says, “Yes, this is what I think is so,” “Yes, I understand this,” and “Yes, I am willing to believe that I can be on this journey.” That small aspect of the self now must become enlarged…”

I would encourage us all to read/pray/study the affirmations and prayers on the next few pages(100-103)—over and over again. Not only will that be a continuing expression of your willingness and intention, but also your participation in this process will raise your frequency and that of all beings. It will do this in ways that are so beyond our ordinary thinking that we cannot even try to grasp the implications, but the events, circumstances you are creating are cosmic in nature.

Jesus stated, “Behold, I make all things new.”

Word I am Word in creating a New and Wonderful World. 
Word I am Word through this intention. 
Word I am Word.

Thursday, December 11, 2014


“The Word is God in action.”
and you are Word.

Just a reminder: the ego and intellect are always thinking that we need to be a step further along the way than we are. “You should be meditating more; if you are really spiritual you wouldn’t react that way, etc.”

What the intellect and ego cannot grasp is that there is NO measuring device for spirituality or spiritual growth. You are simply where you are in your process because you cannot be anyplace else! The action to be taken is not to do more, but to embrace yourself where you are (or where you perceive yourself to be), and that acceptance will move you forward.

The second inquiry Victoria makes regarding what she asked for in the meditation is a beautiful reflection on being gentle with yourself. So what if I asked for success, financial security and a nice place to live. As the book suggests—when you have those things it might make your spiritual search much more successful!--and pleasant.

There is also the subtle indication that our desires will change as we move into higher frequencies. Just be aware of that. Notice the thoughts, desires and beliefs that seem to fall away as they no longer serve you. You can grieve their loss as sometimes might be necessary, but then you can relate them and notice how you are nurtured in even better/healthier ways.

I did not want to get bogged down in the addiction thing, but it seemed some exploration was necessary relating to what was said, “Imagine you’re an alcoholic and you climb the ladder and you ask to stop drinking, or you ask for another drink. It depends on what you need.”

That freaked me out a bit, until I realized that a person might need that next drink to “hit bottom” or come to the realization that they do have an addicted problem.

A class member asked if saying, “I am an alcoholic” was a burden? Others would ask if we are making that part of our identity by saying the words “I am…”

Let me just give you a brief history. AA was founded by Bill Wilson and Dr. Robert Smith. They both knew that one of the greatest barriers to healing was the refusal to admit one had a problem. Hence the emphasis on claiming/owning and therefore being responsible for (in this case) drinking or not drinking. The words, "I am an alcoholic" were not meant to be an over-identification with an illness, they are meant to be a realization and acceptance of a condition, and once that realization and acceptance were in place, positive action could be taken.
Again, we are in territory that the intellect cannot fully understand. 
There is another expression in AA--"Surrender to win." which makes no sneak at all to the thinking mind. However, on a spiritual plane when we surrender the ego's  attempts to control what it cannot, we open the door to the spiritual power that CAN and WILL transform the situation.

Even though for many people, our spiritual language has changed, and we recognize the Power of “I am” statements, it is still quite common to hear, “I am a diabetic; I am bipolar, etc.”
For some people that kind of statement would truly be a reflection of their (over) identification with an illness, but for many people what they really mean is “I have diabetes: or “I have this or that disorder.

To me, claiming my addiction is not a burden alt all. First, I know it is not who I am, but also naming it and claiming it give me the opportunity to be responsible in dealing with it, and make available to me all the spatial tools of transformation.

We don’t always realize it, but most illnesses/diseases/malfunctions affect us on all levels of our being, spiritual,mental, emotional, and spiritual. Alcoholism is no different. In order enhance my health and my recovering I need to be working on all those levels. Personally I find recovery to be tremendously freeing, not a burden at all.

OK—if anybody wants to pursue this issue more you can let me know in the blog comments or get in touch with me personally. I would be more than willing to explore this.

There are any number of important ideas about manifestation here. 
Know that we can create on many different levels, and the when we open ourselves to the level and awareness of Christ Consciousness our creating takes on a whole new dimension.

The scribe of this work, Paul was having some fears and negative thoughts about his health during this part of the dictation, but humbly allowed his feelings to be a learning lesson.

Now in the past I learned that if you had fears about your health you would probably create disease. Well, that made perfect logical sense at the time,
but as I sat with it some more I found myself becoming afraid of my negative thinking, and then I became afraid of being afraid and on and on and on. I was trying to get rid of fear by being afraid of it???????!!!!!!!!!!
Doesn’t work; can’t work.

The book made a very interesting statement:
“For the last two days he’s (Paul) been frightened about healing issues and that does not mean he will create illness. However, it does mean that he creates mental constructs that he then has to make so with his conscious intentions.”

So instead of being afraid of my fear and how it’s going to create illness, I become aware of my fear and the negative thinking connected with it and realize the anxiety I am creating are lowering my frequency and blocking the positive free flow of energy. Now I have to opportunity to LOVINGLY change that. 

The chapter ends with a marvelous prayer/affirmation claiming present and future health.
“I am Word through the body that I inhabit throughout time. And any form the body takes in any lifetime is magnificent and acclimated to the frequency of the Word. I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

You are actually engendering, yes, to send a light out forward into the future through this present time that anchors the vibration of the Christ into physical form and that will project healing into the physical body. But to focus on disease, of course, undermines healing. It does not always bring forth disease, but it sure doesn’t make it easy to be in your health. So we acknowledge this, Paul, and we say to you this: You are healthy, you are healing, you are healed. And you are choosing now to stay in a healed body. “I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

Those of you who have studied Reiki realize that one of the 2nd degree symbols actually transcends the barrier of time and space—so not only can we heal the past, but we can laso heal the future. Why not?



Tuesday, December 2, 2014


You can know without words or images. You can KNOW.

Now, I don’t mean, “I just know” as a hunch or suspicion. This is not about being right or proving  something. We are speaking of Awareness and the kind of Knowing that exists beyond the intellect.

“I Know I am loved. I Know I live in a Universe that has meaning. I Know that when everything else is used up, worn out, no longer necessary, that Love will still be who I am and who we all are.”

Instead of “I Know” I could have written “I believe”, but that’s not it. In my awareness right now “belief” means holding onto a thought or idea that I would like to be true, that I think is true, but that I cannot really substantiate for myself or anyone else. 

We are encouraged here to begin to trust our own inner knowing. That’s not easy. 
Even as I was writing the paragraphs above, I felt a little twinge in my belly, and if it had a voice it would have said, “Hmmmm, do you really want to go out on that kind of a limb? You are saying that you know something that is pretty huge—do you really want to commit to that as the Truth?”

To my way of thinking, Knowing and Wonder are quite similar. They both go beyond the intellect, and they are both different forms of perception than we usually experience with our intellect and five senses.

Several times in this chapter there are references to “feeling” and or “seeing” these energies we are working with. I would encourage all of us to be cautious about using those feelings or sensations as a measuring stick or barometer  of our growth. There might or might not be these sensations such as  “feel as if you are an Alka-Seltzer frothing” or “for some of you, this will mean you get visualizations that have been far richer than you have had before. For others of you, it will mean that you’ll begin to see energy frequencies with your eyes, or your third eye amplifying that which is before you in frequency.”

I have not had any of those experiences, and of course my ego chimes in and says, “Well, you must be doing to wrong” or “Well, here is another method that doesn’t work for me; it works for everybody else, but not me. I guess I am essentially flawed——on and on.


None of us know how the Spirit of God is manifesting within us. The knowing here is to know that because of my willingness and intention that Spirit is manifesting EXACTLY  how It needs to manifest through you and me giving us exactly hat we need to grow in “wisdom, age and grace.”

Just a personal aside—what i have noticed for myself as I have become involved in this work is:
  1. a better ability to move into my “observer consciousness” where I can be aware of what I am feeling or how I am reacting and have better choices of where I want to go with my stuff. In other words I am less caught up in the drama of the moment and can respond to life in more loving ways;
  2. my intuitive sense of compassion and understanding of others has been enhanced. I can’t quite put that in words, but I “hear” you better; I am more aware of you; and because of that I “see” you better.

William James in The Variety of Religious Experience (a dense, but powerful book, and years ahead of its time) describes “spiritual awakening” in at least two different forms. The first is the one we are most familiar with, what I refer to as the "Road to Damascus" experience. Sudden, powerful and life transforming. Examples: Paul of the gospels getting knocked off his horse, struck blind and hearing the words (of the Risen Jesus), “Saul, Saul, why do you prosecute me?”; Bill Wilson co-founder of AA, and many more.
In fact, most books we come across are by authors who have had similar kinds of drastic and dramatic awakenings like Eckhart Tolle, and many of the “near death experience” books, etc.
Since my ego is so addicted to drama and excess, I want one of those too. If I remain attached to having the dramatic form of awakening, then I will likely miss what is really happening with me.
The problem is, as James points out, most spiritual experiences  and awakenings are not so dramatic. He describes most “awakenings” as being of the “educational” variety. What he means by that is most experiences and awakenings happen gradually over time and most of us are not even consciously aware of the transformations that are taking place.
That is, we do not become aware until we are presented with a situation which, in the past had been scripted one way, and now we find ourselves responding differently. Suppose I run into someone who just sets me off by looking at him/her and I am getting ready to feel the intensity of that negative reaction, and I find that the fear, hatred, anger is just not there. It has been replaced by compassion and acceptance. That can be pretty stunning!

Wonder is simply the ability to “see” things differently, and we begin to become aware that “seeing”is a choice. (Again, please note that I have not learned how to change my feelings instantaneously and I still get pretty  annoyed when I am told that my feelings are a choice. Why would I choose to be angry, depressed, jealous—whey would I choose any feelings that make me feel miserable????? BUT when I decide to change the thoughts I am holding onto, when I am willing to release my hold on being right or some other form of nonsense  then (after a time) my feelings will change accordingly.) That is our essential action here—willingness and intention.

“Once you could understand that engaging in wonder will lift your frequency and align you to breaking out of a belief system that has held itself prominent, you can use it to your benefit to change yourself permanently. Period. 

That is another way of saying that often quoted piece from ACIM, “I could see peace instead of this.”
 A few years ago a witty and wise teacher named Margo introduced me to the concept of “going through awkward.” 
Awkwardness is a natural part of our growth process. Whenever we begin to work on something new and different we don’t usually “get it” right away. We practice, we screw up, we get angry and frustrated. At that point it is very easy to give up and think that we are  attempting the impossible, and our ego will probably say something like, “This doesn’t feel good; there must be something wrong here. I better go out an buy a new skate board or a new guitar or a new tennis racket or maybe I ought to take up knitting instead of crocheting.”
The ego hates awkward! It would rathe quit than go through awkward.

Here is where Knowing comes in again. Different strokes for different folks; one size does not fit all. This is a real delicate place when we need to open ourselves up prayerfully and lovingly to know if this path or practice is right for me, and to know that the choice I make here is not for a lifetime, it is simply what is right for me NOW. 

I became a student of A Course in Miracles in the early ’80’s and bounced around with it for years, and then ACIM led me to The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament, and I became very excited about spiritual study and growth, then (in some mysterious way) NTI lead me to I Am the Word—and the other two books scribed by Paul, and here I am. I “knew” each one of those teachings were right for me at the time, and I am grateful that I allowed myself to be lead in this direction.

I’m going to record the “Ladder” meditation. It will be available via the christintraining.com web site under the I Am the Word class tab.

I’m just going to enclose the next couple of prayers/affirmations so you can have them handy.
Even though this was primarily written for Paul, I think it applies ot all of us.

“I am Word through my intention to release the resistance to divine information that is being brought forth through me, to me, and for me, and for those I would work with as readers and students. I align myself now to the higher frequency in fullness, and I give permission for the resistance I have claimed to be released now in love and in safety. Word I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

“I am Word through my intention to open my third eye clearly to see that which is before me in the higher realms of consciousness. I do this easily and I am supported in the release of anything and everything that needs to clear from my third eye in order to bring me the experience of wonder that I need to lift my consciousness in completeness. I give thanks that this is done perfectly and that I am supported in my growth by myself on a higher level and by the guides and spirit teachers who are working with us now. Word I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

Towards the end of what we covered this week Victoria shares her “stuckness” with this whole “I Am the Word” thing.

Like most of us she is trying to “wrap her mind” around it. Ain’t gonna happen.
That’s the whole point. You can't’ wrap your mind around this one; it’s too big. It’s not a concept or an idea it is a Truth like unconditional love.
I can’t understand that, but I can Know it—and see that is what Wonder is all about—allowing ourselves to go beyond the confines of the intellect; to stop trying to grasp it with our minds.

I could be lost in a sunset on the beach OR I could have a scientist explain to me how certain types of particulate matter are causing the refraction of light waves off some alto-cumulous clouds and producing the colors and effect I am seeing.
Same sunset, but
Which one do you want????

I Am Word is really short hand for I am Peace: I am Joy; I am Love, etc.
Notice the energetic difference between saying “I have peace” as compared to “I am peace.” 
or you could affirm, “I am Peace in action; I am Love in action; I am joy in action…

The book goes on to state simply and beautifully:

“The Word is God in action. When you claim, “Word I am Word,” you are identifying with that aspect of God that is the Word that can be realized through man. And that is the action of the Christ, period.”

Say out loud or to yourself: “I am Word through my intention to align my consciousness to the belief that ‘I am Word’ can be claimed and worked with on a conscious level that I am inhabiting and am comfortable with. Word I am Word through this intention. Word I am Word.”

“You have set the intention and then the energy will begin to work with you to realign the conscious mind to the extent that you will enable it to, through your permissions, to go forth and adjust to this idea, to this truth. Period.”